Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Accidental Millionaires

I interrupt my normally scheduled detailed analysis of a random personal financial issue for an important message:


To my friends at Glide, who were just in the news for receiving $20 million of funding on a reported $100 million valuation. Wow!

And also, to my friends at Aorato for being acquired by Microsoft for $200 million dollars. Well done!

You’ve got to hand to these hi-tech millionaires. While the rest of us were busy writing snarky blogs about PFICs, these folks were bringing innovative new products to the world.

Who knows? Maybe they were even doing it on purpose.

As the internet’s foremost non-expert on multi-million-dollar hi-tech companies, it is only natural for me to provide a penetrating commentary on these deals. Fortunately, to guide me in my analysis, I recently received these two actual accidental questions:

#1. “How could Glide possibly need $20 million?”

This question comes from the internet’s foremost non-expert on parenting. Unfortunately, it clearly misunderstands how hi-tech companies work. I personally have visited Glide’s offices, so what I am about to say is absolutely accurate.

Glide does not have a full-time barista to make coffee for their engineers.

Shocking, I know. It’s hard to believe how far they have come while having to prepare their own coffee. Thankfully, they now have the funding to address this critical gap in their business strategy.

Glide on, Glide!

#2. “What will be the next big innovative idea that will be worth millions of dollars?”

I have pondered this question for as long as I have known up-and-coming hi-tech millionaires. I personally believe that great new ideas comes from relatively simple observations of our everyday reality.

I am currently enjoying paternity leave and my everyday reality is about babies. This has given me ample opportunity to think about clever and innovate new products in the up-and-coming field of hi-tech baby care.

As an open appeal for funding my new company, I will publish these ideas in next week’s blog. Unless, of course, someone acquires me before then. 

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